When we were planning our wedding, we honestly hadn’t considered having a traditional Vietnamese tea ceremony – until my mom told us how much it would mean to her. And of course, we said, why not? One more reason to celebrate and bring our families together!
Looking back, I’m so glad we included this part of the wedding. The tea ceremony gave us such meaningful moments and beautiful memories that we’ll always treasure.
In this post, I’m sharing what happens during a Vietnamese wedding tea ceremony, what we wore, and how we honored both Vietnamese and Korean cultures.
All photos by Natalie Hills Photography
What Is a Vietnamese Wedding Tea Ceremony?
The Vietnamese tea ceremony (Lễ Vu Quy or Lễ Thành Hôn) is a cultural tradition where the groom formally asks for the bride’s hand in marriage and both families come together to celebrate the union. It’s a way to honor our parents, elders, and ancestors. Though the ceremony only lasts about 30 minutes, it’s packed with symbolic gestures and meaning. Here’s how it all unfolded for us.
The Procession: Welcoming the Groom’s Family
The day started with the groom’s side — Jeff, his family, and groomsmen — arriving at my parents’ house. They came bearing flowers and mâm quả, traditional red tin gift trays covered with red cloth. These trays held symbolic offerings like roasted pig, tea, wine, sticky rice, and desserts — all representing prosperity, respect, and good fortune.
While I waited (and peeked!) from upstairs, my family and bridesmaids welcomed Jeff’s family outside. After formal introductions, my family accepted the gifts and invited them inside to begin the ceremony.
Inside, my dad walked me downstairs to meet Jeff. He brought me a beautiful bouquet, which was lovingly made by my brother’s girlfriend. Then the mâm quả gifts are revealed and our moms lit dragon candles — a symbolic gesture representing the union of our two families.
The Wedding Tea Ceremony
The ceremony began with Jeff and me bowing at the altar to pay respect to our ancestors. Then we served tea to our parents as a gesture of gratitude. This part was deeply emotional — we both cried as we thanked our parents for their sacrifices, especially immigrating to the U.S. and working so hard to give us better lives.
In return, our parents gifted us with red envelopes, jewelry, and heartfelt advice for a happy marriage.
Afterward, we served tea to other elders and family members who came up to share blessings, wisdom, and gifts. It was such a beautiful way to connect generations and kick off our marriage with love and support from our families.
Let’s Eat and Celebrate!
Traditionally, after the tea ceremony, everyone gathers at the groom’s home for lunch, and the wedding reception happens later that day. Since it wasn’t logistically possible to do it all in one day, we hosted our tea ceremony the day before our American wedding.
Since Jeff’s parents live out of state, my family hosted the luncheon, and it was a delicious Vietnamese spread — bánh mì, gỏi (Vietnamese salad), egg rolls, bánh hỏi, and of course, some celebratory Hennessy shots!
Our Ao Dais: Traditional Vietnamese Wedding Outfits
One of my favorite parts of the tea ceremony was wearing our beautiful ao dais! Before the wedding, my mom traveled to Vietnam and helped us source them for everyone.
I worked with my cousins in Vietnam to choose a beautiful bridal ao dai with intricate beading and a long, elegant train. Jeff wore a modern gold-embroidered groom ao dai that seriously made him look like royalty!
We also had ao dais custom made for our wedding party — pink ao dais for the bridesmaids and gold ao dais for the groomsmen. My mom even got matching aqua ao dais for all the guys in our family from Bến Thành Market. Seeing everyone in traditional Vietnamese dresses was amazing and so fun!
Honoring Korean Culture with Hanboks
Even though we couldn’t plan a Korean tea ceremony, we still wanted to honor Jeff’s culture. While guests were eating, we changed into hanboks, the traditional Korean attire. Jeff’s mom had picked out and customized our hanboks on her trip to Korea earlier that year — they were absolutely stunning and vibrant.
She wore hers too, which made the moment feel even more special. It was the perfect way to celebrate our two cultures coming together in one day.
Final Thoughts
Our Vietnamese wedding tea ceremony was such a special experience — a blend of culture, love, gratitude, and family. I’m so happy we said yes to the tradition and created these memories that we’ll treasure forever.
Thank you for reading! I’ll be sharing our bridal ao dai portraits in the next post. Until then, you can check out more of my wedding posts here.
I love reading about the different cultures in weddings! I am actually Korean married to a Chinese guy and didn’t end up doing the traditional Chinese or Korean tea ceremonies which I regret. All of the traditional costumes are so beautiful and I love that you did both traditions!
xoxo,
Christine
http://dailykongfidence.com/
What a beautiful wedding! I absolutely love the photos dear.
Jessica | notjessfashion.com
What a lovely ceremony! It was great learning more about it. I didn’t know much about what a traditional wedding tea ceremony might look like. The photographs turned out beautiful. Everyone looks so happy. It is great you decided to do this and thanks for sharing. You both looked wonderful and your families look very happy too.
It was so interesting to learn about this, so thank you for sharing! Love that you brought two different cultures together too! Xx
http://www.thefashionfolks.com
What a beautiful ceremony! Thanks for sharing this tradition. You look stunning and the pics are amazing.
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Oh wow, this is so beautiful! I love that you incorporated both cultures into your wedding. Being from an African background, I’ve been to many weddings where the traditions come to light too, especially the second outfit change. You look wonderful and everything looks amazing. Congratulations to you both! 🙂
Mich x
http://michjoseph.com
That’s so nice you got to do this for your mom. It seems like a wonderful tradition.
Jennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
I loved that you both embraced both cultural traditions and still made it work for your American wedding. Plus, it was so cool seeing it and reading it about in this post! My husband and I did the same thing. I had Filipino wedding traditions and we incorporated to our American wedding. Your ceremony looked amazing!
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
I love this, and it’s so important to still honour traditions. The photos are stunning. <3
FASHION TALES
Wow, love your ao dai! Where can I get one?
Thanks so much Tiffany! We ordered it from this place: https://www.lahava.vn/ao-dai-cuoi/thiet-ke-ao-dai-cach-tan-ta-xoe-tron-long-lay.html. Let me know if you have any other questions!
Oh this wonderful and how nice to have both ceremonies though I think the Tea Ceremony may be a bit nicer! I love your color palette so well thought out and the Hanboks. The photos are outstanding your photographer did a great job and you will have lovely memories to cherish.
Allie of
http://www.allienyc.com
Ahh this is so cute! It’s good that you still did practice your family’s traditions even if you’re not in your country. I remember my recent trip to Korea because of the hanboks you’re wearing. Cuties! Congrats to you and your future hubby! 🙂
xoxo,
SHAIRA
Blog: http://www.missdream-girl.blogspot.com
What a beautiful way to honor your family and tradition- and the whole ceremony looked so stunning! Your mom is adorable!
-Ashley
Le Stylo Rouge
What a cute and informative post Tina! I have heard of the Vietnamese Tea Ceremony but never quite found out what it entailed. I was smiling ear to ear reading your post and very happy for you, Jeff and your families.
Maureen | http://www.littlemisscasual.com
What a lovely way to honor your family and tradition, I love this post so much. You both look great.
Have a nice day.
Kisses <3
http://www.rakhshanda-chamberofbeauty.com/
Hi , I am planning a Vietnamese tea ceremony as well. Where did you find the red platters? Or rent it?
Hi! My mom bought them in Vietnam but there are definitely Viet stores that carry them here!
I had just order an ao dai from lahava and I was wondering what did you wear underneath the pants/dress because mine look so see through
I appreciate your blog post, beautifully expressed and well written.
Have a amazing day!
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